compusive behaviors

I'm usually a compusive eater, but now i'm a pack-a-day smoker. Neither one is a healthy habit, but i'd rather smoke b/c i don't want to add another pound to my over 300 pound body. I am also a compulsive spender. this is not good seeing as how my income is just enough for my bills. i always end up charging something on my card or ask my mom, dad, or grandma for money. Smoking and compulsive eating aren't cheap habits either. going to the store and spending $60-$100 each time and cigarettes are $4-$5 a pack. I'm trying overeaters anonymous and it's helped a little, b/c i don't eat as much as i used to, i just replace that behavior with smoking. So as you see i'm not really getting to the root of the problem. maybe one day i will.

Whining

right now i am so restless that i feel like i want to pull my hair out. my dog has been at the vet all day. i know she's scared. she either has a UTI or bladder stones. i feel like i ought to just drive up there and go get her. i want cry b/c i'm worried about her and i want to scream because it should not have taken them this long. I just want to hold my dog right now and give her lots of hugs and affection.

Worried

My dog has been aat the vet since 7:30 this morning. they can't get a urine sample from her. i'm just so worried. so that's why i came to whine on my blog. more whining to come...